One of the things I wish I had not done when I got divorced was make ANY major decisions for the first two years. I moved, and then I moved again for emotional reasons, looking for something to fill the void left by losing a partner. It caused upheaval with my children and with my bank account. I bought a Mustang convertible… fun, but silly, and a time share in Hawaii, which was just plain stupid. When the first two years were over, I had less money and was still an emotional mess. The new house and car did not help at all! I wish I had sat tight and waited until the emotional “crazy time” had settled down and I could have made smart, conscience choices.
Why do we do this?
Buying something, especially a big ticket item, can make us feel like we’re in control of a situation when we don’t feel like we’re in control of another. It’s our way of saying to ourselves, and the world, “See, I’m okay on my own. I’ve got everything under control. I can manage big decisions for myself and my family and I don’t need anyone else.”
I have lived and learned this lesson, and my advice is, DON’T!
Don’t give in to the urge to ‘prove’ something to yourself or anyone else. This is the time to reach out to trusted friends and family. Realize that you are likely making big decisions based on emotions. Trust that they have your best interest at heart and will let you know if you’re making smart choices for your family in the long run.